Funny Medicine

This funny medicine page is the result of me receiving several emails containing funny medical terms that I thought would make a good theme page on this site. Maybe you'll agree.

We'll start of with this funny explanation of medical terms and then maybe add more medical humor as it comes along.

The danger when doing something like this is that you may have heard of many of these humorous definitions before. The hope is that you will find some that you haven't seen before!

That will (hopefully) make your time spent on this page worthwhile.

Anyway, here they are. I hope you enjoy them. After all, a joke is a joke.

Medical Terms:

Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when patients die
Benign - What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat Scan - Searching for kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
Dilate - To live long
Electile Dysfunction - The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff - A doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer
Nitrates - Rates of pay for working at night, (normally more money than days)
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Rectum - Nearly killed him
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
Tumour - One plus one more
Urine - Opposite of you're out