Job Application

If you need a job application template to give you an edge when you apply for a position this template is not the one to do it!

With all the job losses lately and competition tough for the few jobs that are opening up, you need to get noticed when sending in an application.

However, unless you're trying to get into The Comedy Network or some creative position where the company definitely has a big sense of humor, then don't use this one. You may get some laughs, but you probably won't get an interview.

I just couldn't resist doing something like this, even knowing that 99% of the companies out there have no sense of humor. Wouldn't it be neat if someone brought you in for an interview because you like to laugh rather than reject you for it?

Oh well, I can dream.

If you have a sense of humor (and enough guts) modify this funny email and send it off. You probably don't have much to lose anyway, the way things are today.

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to apply for the position of [ ]CEO [ ]General Manager [ ]Sales Manager [ ]Salesperson [ ]Sales Assistant [ ]Office Clerk [ ]Night Watchman [ ]Gopher at your company.

I have a [ ]PHD [ ]MBA [ ]BA [ ]College Diploma [ ]Trade Certificate [ ]High School diploma [ ]Elementary School Leaving Certificate [ ]Air Brakes Certificate [ ]Hot Air Balloon First Flight Certificate [ ]Dog license

and several years experience as [ ] a scientist [ ]an executive [ ]a manager [ ]an executive assistant [ ]a salesperson [ ]a massage therapist [ ]a payroll clerk [ ]a convenience store clerk [ ]a therapist's client [ ]an unemployment specialist.

I am able to [ ]multi-task [ ]learn quickly [ ]think obliquely [ ]count backwards from 1000 [ ]win food fights [ ]parallel park [ ]disappear at will [ ]shoot peas out my nose [ ]sleep with my eyes open.

After you've reviewed my resume I'm sure you will agree that I am [ ]perfect for the job [ ]worth training [ ]a possible fit [ ]better than your average gypsy [ ]near a nervous breakdown [ ]insecure [ ]worth hiring once I get parole [ ]curable [ ]funny.

So, lets [ ]talk soon [ ]do lunch [ ]meet at the crisis centre [ ]Twitter each other [ ]exchange recipes [ ]organize a love-in [ ]discuss the meaning of life [ ]destroy the evidence.

Sincerely yours,

How To Transfer The Verse From This Template Into Your Email Program

(These directions are for Outlook Express users but will generally be the same for all email programs.)

Open your email program and click on the "Create Mail" button.

Return to this Job Application page and highlight the verse above.

Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".

Return to your email program and in the box below the subject line; click once to get the cursor in the box and then right-click on the mouse and click "paste" and the text (from above) will be transferred into the body of your email.

Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.

Add your name at the end.

If you are sending this email to an individual, then you will also want to type his/her name at the top.

You may then want to enter a word or two in the "Subject" line. (What's the email about?)

Finally, you must enter your friend's email address and click send. (Hopefully, you can just select their email address from your address book.)

Note: If you are sending out an email to more than one person you may want to enter each person's email address in the "BCC" address line so that nobody knows who else you sent the message to.