Retirement Email

Why send a retirement email? Is somebody retiring at work? Maybe it's time to send them a funny note?

Retirement is pretty well always a joyous occasion (unless, of course, the person is being forced to retire early). Therefore, you probably want to send them something light that they can chuckle at.

Funny things to email are sometimes hard to find and you can look through a lot of messages before finding one that is "right" for your situation.

That's why I designed this funny retirement email. You can add your own touch to it based on the sense of humor of the retiree.

I also have a funny retirement email card template for you in the Greeting Card section. If you want to send an e-card to the person instead of an e-mail (then click here).

(Of course, you can always print the message on a real card and hand it to the person if you want!)


Dear

Congratulations on your [ ]release [ ]escape [ ]nomination for patient of the year [ ]graduation from obedience school [ ]recent retirement [ ]third place finish in the "Ugly Shoes" contest [ ]unsuccessful appearance on the "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader" program [ ]"cow flap" throwing victory [ ]nuclear fusion patent.

May you look back with [ ]regret [ ]pride [ ]anger [ ]confusion [ ]embarrassment [ ]melancholy [ ]detachment [ ]sorrow [ ]fear [ ]joy [ ]amazement [ ]trepidation

on your [ ]lack of empathy [ ]misdeeds [ ]corny jokes [ ]tolerance for bad coffee [ ]ability to blend in [ ]successful brain transplant [ ]confrontational attitude [ ]ability to organize piles of paper into a system [ ]accomplishments.

I'm sure you're looking forward to [ ]doing nothing [ ]doing more with less [ ]giving your old boss a "1 finger wave" [ ]sleeping in [ ]the daytime "soaps" on TV [ ]cheaper insurance rates [ ]2 weeks in Sheboygan [ ]hanging out at the mall

and for the co-workers you left behind I'll bet you'd like to pass on to them [ ]good luck [ ]the plague [ ]a visit from the brain fairy [ ]a big "raspberry" [ ]a flea infestation [ ]your "Dueling Bagpipes" album [ ]condolences.

Cheers,


How To Transfer This Template Into Your Email Program

(These directions are for Outlook Express users but will generally be the same for all email programs.)

Open your email program and click on the "Create Mail" button.

Return to this Retirement Email page and highlight the verse above.

Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".

Return to your email program and in the box below the subject line; click once to get the cursor in the box and then right-click on the mouse and click "paste" and the text (from above) will be transferred into the body of your email.

Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.

Add your name at the end.

If you are sending this email to an individual, then you will also want to type his/her name at the top.

You may then want to enter a word or two in the "Subject" line. (What's the email about?)

Finally, you must enter your friend's email address and click send. (Hopefully, you can just select their email address from your address book.)


Are you retired or close to it? Would you like to earn extra money from your own website when you are retired (just like I do)? If that appeals to you then check out the best company on the Internet to help you do it by clicking here. It's the one I use. (Or, you can watch the video below.)

Retirement Card

Go to my Funny Retirement Email Card template if you'd sooner send a card than this email.

Retirement-Online

Here's a good site. Click here to learn more about the process of retirement and hear from real retirees on their thoughts of all things retirement. (Don't forget to bookmark this page before you leave however.)

Go From This Retirement Email Page To Funny Email Messages

See other Funny Email Messages that you can send.

Greeting Cards

The Greeting Cards section contains templates for many different cards for most of life's important occasions.

Funny Business Email

Get a serious message across in a humorous way. If your company has a good sense of humor, you may be able to use some of my Funny Business Email templates in your correspondence.

Funny Email For Everyone Home Page

Click here to go from the Retirement Email page to the Funny Email For Everyone home page.


Funny, Unique Gift Of The Week

If you're looking for a gift for someone that very few other people will have, then click on the mug below!

You can have one of my unique cartoons printed on an I-Pad case, an I-phone, a poster, a hoodie, a poster, a t-shirt, a ball cap and many more things, and then have it delivered to your door!


Please note that the "What's New?" section below is updated whenever something I think is funny comes along, therefore some of these "New" blogs further down the page may already have been replaced by the time you click on them!

What's New?

  1. Divorce?

    Oct 23, 14 12:00 AM

    Should she get one?

    Read More

  2. 50 Shades Of Grey

    Oct 21, 14 12:00 AM

    Here is a little British verse for you. (It's the second one on the page.)

    Read More

  3. Answered Prayers

    Oct 21, 14 12:00 AM

    This story has a surprise ending!

    Read More

  4. Farmer John

    Oct 14, 14 12:00 AM

    Clever sign making by this farmer.

    Read More

  5. Cooking Carp

    Oct 04, 14 12:00 AM

    Here's a recipe for you if you have to cook this unappetizing fish.

    Read More

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